Over the last two weeks I’ve noticed very strange but obvious changes. I had a busy week at work and was also traveling. For the first time since I got back from India, I was inconsistent with my yoga practice. I also ate some unhealthy food (think ice cream sandwiches, spicy wings, pizza and the like) and also binged on some TV. I’ve done all of these things before and never felt like my world spun off its axis. Holy shit. I was angry, cranky, didn’t sleep well, my thoughts went off into the deep end (very negative) and felt extremely tired. The ironic part is before these two “off” weeks was a week filled with emotional landmines — both the anniversary of my mom passing and my ex-boyfriend’s birthday. I breezed through the week like it was nothing. How did I go from feeling so blissful and an emotional ninja into a complete wreck? Simple, my actions. Without my daily yoga practice, my sleep went to shit. In turn I started to crave old comforting foods. My body started to feel tired and lazy — in turn I spent time on the sofa bingeing on Netflix. Who knew the slope was so slippery? My mind started to go to a dark place, my compassionate voice was drowned out by the loud, judgmental, negative wailing. I couldn’t believe that just a few short days of skipping yoga and reverting to old habits (that served me quite well, may I add) threw my mental health completely off. Apparently I’ve changed and my mind has taken note of it. It no longer wants things that use to soothe me. It no longer enjoys activities I use to find fun. My body no longer wants foods that do not nourish it. My body will not take my shit. But I don’t understand — we use to love this shit! Just a few months ago I would not have had the awareness to tie feelings and emotions to actions. I would have blamed the shit feeling on work, people, other things out of my control. Yoga helped me get back to yoga. The awareness that yoga brings will spill into other parts of your life — whether you want it to or not, whether you are ready for it or not. It’s incredible how powerful the yoga practice is — how quickly and how deeply it can change your mind, body and heart.
Welp — back to the mat!